Embarrassment. Shame. Tears. Weakness. Needing someone. When you are taught the wrong messages about your emotions, about how you manage your life starting at a young age you can become confused and the need for control can lead to some very scary places.
You need to open up. How? How can I when the very act of wanting to reach out brings physical reactions of stress, fear and the deep mistrust comes roiling up like bile.
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I've been taught to give consent by surrendering to the emotions, to the messages which were designed to keep me in someone's fist. How do I stop that? I don't know. I wish I knew. I think knowing it is a big step. Seeing it happen and reaching out, in little ways which seem so large. Trying, risking, stretching those healing wings to see if I can fly.
So it begins...and I'm not sure where it will go...but will we go together?