Saturday, July 17, 2010

Poison People

Poison people, poison people,
Sucking out the life from our air.

Poison people, poison people,
Killing spirits without a care.

Poison people, poison people,
I wonder how you dare?

Poison people, poison people,
I see you and I know you are there.

Poison people are everywhere, and when you've been abused it can be so hard to deal with those who are good at disguising their poison.  Their poison is subtle - it undermines you, it corrodes you and it leaves you wounded and vulnerable.  Their poison comes disguised as backhanded compliments or 'I'm sorry but...' statements, their poison is fueled by their own sense of power and guilt.  They try to make us drink their poison because it makes them feel better.

They know they are abusers, they know they are bad for us and they  do not care enough to stop.  They like their power, they like the way our pain drives them.  They like to try and convince us that they really are not hurting us, we are just too weak, to silly, to needy to understand that the world works this way.  They expect that their poison will bring us to a level where it can continue to kill us slowly.

They seduce vulnerable and abused partners into thinking that when they provide a sexual service or an emotional service that it really is being done to make the abused partner feel better.  Excuse me!  Really, sleeping with someone who is suicidal, depressed and being actively abused by you is a favor, that you are sacrificing yourself so they can feel pretty? 

Lies, deceptions and poison...when you use your power for pain you are abusing someone.  When you use your power for your pleasure paid for by someone's tears - you are abusing them.

Poison people are everywhere - and when you are healing and doing the really hard work of getting well they are at their most dangerous.  When we are focused on surviving, on the single steps that take us along the way to survivor, we are not thinking about those poison people who are waiting to abuse their power in our lives, in our worlds.

It may not be to us directly, it could be to another person who is also on the survivor trail, and we see it happening.  We hear it happening and all we can do is try to hold them together, get them to help and keep the poison people away.  When someone is working so hard to poison another person it is a very painful thing to witness - how do you explain to someone that the person who claims to be helping them is really trying to kill them?  That they are slowly bleeding their spirits to death, killing their minds and letting their bodies linger.

When a person takes their power to harm another person - that is abuse.
If you end a conversation with someone feeling sick, weak or badly - they are poison people.
If time with someone leaves you confused, drained and weak - they are poison people.
I've been around poison people disguised as caregivers, family, friends, doesn't matter what their title is, their relationship or age.  They are poison people!

My question to you, and I'm really looking for some discussion here: how do you deal with a new life with healthy people if you've only ever known poison people?  If you are drawn to that world because it is all that you've been able to understand?  I have a friend going through this - right now, tonight...and I love her and am praying for her...

Sweet Wind Dancer, you have people who care for you, that love you and know you. They are not poison people, they know who the poison people are and want to protect you from them...let us show you that real love, real caring and really loving people are in the world and love you.  The poison people will always want to snag you but you've come so far in your journey as a survivor...we love you and are proud of you!


  1. sadly there is a reality in all this that is as familiar as air....'they have to take the first step' 'they have to want to stop, drinking, smoking, letting people abuse them'

    They have to believe that they have a choice, and many times, I find myself putting to them that not only do they have a CHOICE, they have a RESPONSIBILITY to MAKE the choice, or by not making the choice they are STILL making it.

    It's a little tough love in some ways. Done in complement with "I love you always" Love, with boundaries...because ultimately being raised without them...we have to learn to identify and then embrace them.

    I love you enough to tell you that you are responsible for your choices, I'm here to help you make the best ones for you, I'll respect whatever you decide BUT KNOW THIS...YOU WILL HAVE MADE THIS CHOICE whatever it is.

    It's less than what I say to myself...THIS IS MY LIFE....if I let myself be abused...IT'S because of my choices.

    I will remember you and your friend in my meditations.

    Be well...

  2. Elle, very well said.

    It is so hard to watch someone that you love being hurt by those poison people and until they are ready to choose to love themselves and get out of those relationships because they deserve better, there is nothing that you can do.

    Dear Mystic_Mom, I know how good of a friend you can be. I have seen you in action. Until your friend wants something different for herself, all you can do is listen and be honest with her when she asks. Continue to love her until she can love herself. There is nothing else you can do until she is ready to be helped.